Usually I’m upbeat and optimistic. This morning, not so much. It’s been an incredibly challenging last couple of days, probably closer to two weeks. It’s since Veronica left. She went back to her hometown.
Her departure coincides with not extending a client contract. There’s also been the onboarding of additional clients and personnel. Also, a couple of my team members have found other opportunities. Also, there’s the fact that I had another birthday and turned 50.
I’ve begun to doubt myself and my abilities. Doubt kills. It erodes self confidence. It grows when not extracted promptly. I’ve neglected to remove the doubt, since I’m not sure how.
I’m in a holding pattern that appears(or feels like) it’s descending. I’m asking stupid questions like, “Is there more?” I’m doubting my abilities to fulfill my purpose. I’m questioning my desires. I’m questioning my motives. I’m even questioning my intentions. This is not a great space to mentally dwell.
I’ll regroup. I’ll recommit. I’ll formulate another plan. I’ll have to remember “feelings aren’t facts.” I’ll have to remember just how miserable I was before I discovered my purpose. I’ll have to redouble my efforts. To awaken earlier. To write more, more often. To prospect more. To serve more clients. To be impactful.
My challenge is vigor. My energy levels aren’t as high as they once were. I’m not running about enthusiastically. I’m not a young man. I’ll have to marshall my resources. I’ll have to trust my team. I’ll have to grow my team. I’ll need the assistance of others, cause I can’t get this all done alone.
Today, Tuesday, August 10, 2021, I am grateful that:
Even when depressed, I can see an out. At times, my depression was so intense, I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. That’s not the case today.
I can be transparent. I’m no longer fearful of sharing my innermost thoughts with my audience. This may actually help others and I’ve got to do my part. If someone benefits from my struggles, then my struggles were not in vain.
My hosting account is setup. The website should be finished by week’s end. I’ll be able to get my blog and social media accounts synced and publishing something positive.
Even with only four hours of sleep, I’m refreshed. I’m enjoying my morning coffee. I’ve made a few calls. I’ll be ready for the team when the work day begins.
How do you lessen your doubts?
When struggling, whom do you turn to?
How do you “rekindle” that spark within?
Be Great. Be Grateful!!!
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